Bad Hombre

Draws pictures of the saints

in the margins of his custom bible.

Is rumored to have had affairs

with 12,000 North Korean infantry.

Is associated only with the most

beautiful christians.

Likes walking in on teenaged girls

while they’re changing clothes.

Will protect you, of course.

Is always ready with a helping hand

attired with a dozen Big Macs.

Really is a good dancer

if you’ve never seen him.

Promised his kids “someday

this will all be yours.”

Robert Beveridge (he/him) makes noise (xterminal.bandcamp.com) and writes poetry on unceded Mingo land (Akron, OH). He published his first poem in a non-vanity/non-school publication in November 1988, and it’s been all downhill since. Recent/upcoming appearances in Chiron Review, Al Dente, and Coin-Operated Press‘ Hallozine, among others.