Jimmy Lee and His Piece of Glee

Jimmy Lee’s life was lacking

basic fun

So he thought, Why not get myself

a gun?

Everything else I’ve already

done

It’s a good time to go and

shoot someone.

The 2nd amendment is my God

given right

To defend myself in the city from the

Left’s trite

Because why would a person learn

how to read or write

When NRA is our new symbol of red,

blue and white.

Jimmy Lee’s gun permit requires a

background check

An ATF form to fill and sign,

what the heck?

Still, a defenseless American can be a pain

in the neck!

After a few days, Jimmy’s shiny piece

arrives without a speck.

A school, a concert venue, a theater or

a library?

Jimmy Lee’s dilemma is a substantial

one as he

Ponders where and when to open his

piece of glee

And how many lives he could from existential

misery free.

Thus Jimmy contemplated, thought

and wondered

School shootings have been done, if once,

then times a hundred

No good films are out, no concerts either,

don’t want to be blundered

But the intellectuals who read, them I truly hate,

their days are officially numbered.

Jimmy Lee drives to a full parking

lot of a library

And unleashes hell on all in vicinity to

whom guns are scary

His automatic instantly slays many, including

Edna and Gary

And many others whose misfortune is notion

arbitrary.

Jimmy’s arrest and trial are a circus and

A national chronic

His villainous face on TV and front pages at

first is purely demonic

But the NRA and gun-owning right soon agree

to turn him iconic

A tormented young soul becomes a victim!, how

deliciously ironic.

Jimmy’s counsel argues his client is as quiet

as a mouse

For the flaming, book-reading libs, he was serving

as a merciful douse

His everyday life is rather mundane, he doesn’t

even have a spouse

Your honor, one day he will be bigger than even

Kyle Rittenhouse.

The GOP’s pupils widen as they learn of poor

Jimmy’s plight

Soon they buy off the judge who’s a Republican

and, just imagine – white!

A movement begins to free the young man, a

new national fight

That unites the gun toting hotheads on the American

far right.

Fox News promotes Jimmy as a misunderstood

national hero

Tucker, Jeanine, Hannity and even the uptight

Ben Shapiro

Find him an admirable fella, so very opposite from

the alleged ‘zero’

A new image to the public of this man from

Oklahoma’s Spiro.

The judge asks, Mr Lee, to me, you look like

a good kid

So please tell the jury, why you done what

you did?

Your honor, says Jimmy, those people I shot,

their ideas forbid

My right to be armed, I acted in self-defense

and I never once hid.

Jimmy’s acquittal splits the already divided, now

delicate nation

On the Left some view him as a menace and most as

an aberration

But to the Right he’s a second coming, a delayed

incarnation

The GOP to him makes a substantial campaign

donation.

“Vote for Jimmy Lee, a man who takes down

Libs as a plea

For his country and himself and all who

with him agree

That the only way to ultimately from left’s

progress be free

Is to counter their radical ideas through a

shiny piece of glee.”

To the Yankees who read this, be proud that

you can at long last say

You live in a land of principles, admirable

in every single way

A haven of cyclical gun violence, fried food

And ice water every single day.

For no country has ever been, is, or will ever be

As farcical as the good old USA!

Barlow Crassmont has lived in the USA, Eastern Europe, Middle East and China. When not teaching or writing, he dabbles in juggling, solving the Rubik’s Cube, and learning other languages. He has been published by British Science Fiction Association, Wilderness House Literary Review, and in the upcoming 41st anthology of Writers of the Future.