Brian Jerrold Koester | Blue Yodel of the Bad Teachers

Blue Yodel of the Bad Teachers

After Frank Stafford

Just highlights by the light
of a dim brine shrimp hatchery

The kindergarten teacher who left me
alone with the rats

And the teacher who demanded
for weeks to know how I had cheated
on a proctored standardized test
for first graders

And the one who made me learn
by overhearing everything
from the coat room
I still got the highest score

And the one who sharpened
our pencils funny so she could ding us
when they broke on us
Just call her Mrs Gerbil

I know
you’ve been there

And the one who kept three of us second
graders in the classroom all through lunch and recess
to make us fight
Guy and Dana and I made friends and stayed friends
even when
she tried again

And the one whose third grade I slogged through
without ever learning the multiplication
table beyond the twos
and who said to Benny in front
of all of us You think you’re cock of the walk
but really you’re just a cock

And the one who chronically
mispronounced our names on purpose
and kept leaving us
to watch elk
documentaries while he
got up to godknowswhat

And the one who decided I’d ratted
her out for meeting Mr Studly
in the supply closet — the teacher who quietly
told my fifth grade self he would beat the living
shit out of me if it wouldn’t cost him
his job and his freedom

but it was a teacher
full of righteous
indignation who betrayed them
I’ll show you indignation

Innocence splinters like a diamond
ring in a garbage disposal

The steel magnolia who made sure
to teach me lay and lie
backwards to sabotage
my white trash ass

And the one who marked all my commas
wrong no matter what

And the one who refused to believe
I wasn’t on drugs even though
I was often the only one
who could solve the problem on the board

And the one who kept
shooting me the moon

And the one who ordered her husband
to beat me up

And the one who said he’d give up
his career and his freedom
if he could have me
Wouldn’t you like to know

What
me bitter

Brian Jerrold Koester is a Pushcart Prize nominee and a Best of the Net Anthology nominee. His poetry collection is titled What Keeps Me Awake (Silver Bow Publishing) and his chapbook is called Bossa Nova (River Glass Books). His work has appeared most recently in Louisiana Literature, Poetry Pacific, Poetic Sun, SurVision, Versification Zine, Triggerfish Critical Review, and Revolver. Koester is an aficionado of single malt whiskey and a proud Cub Scout dropout.